missing the unknown

How can you miss what you don´t know?

I have a theory: "You can´t love what you don´t know". And I have another theory that says that you have to love yourself in first place, in order to get some happiness in this though world.

The problem comes when I realize that many times I´m a complete stranger even to myself. I don´t recognize my feelings, my reactions, my hopes, my dreams, my words, my past, sometimes I don´t even recognize my reflection in the mirror: I look older, tired, sad... and then I smile to myself trying to see my soul, but it´s just not there, it´s hidden in the deepest of my mind, searching for the child I was, searching for my old dreams, searching for my true identity, my true wishes.
They say that smell is the most powerful conection with emotions. I´ve ever thought it´s true. One simple smell can bring you memories of old things that were lost in your unconsciousness. Somehow, sounds are driving me crazy now. I´ve developed weakness for some voices, I began the stupid thing last Christmas, and now it is affecting me too much, more even than the weather.