clown

I hate myself today and I hated myself yesterday and I will hate myself tomorrow.
I´m hurt because I´m stupid and I´m stupid because I´m myself.
And it´s true that I was an easy prey, willing to believe in dreams when I was awake, willing to believe what I was listening even when I never did it before. Maybe because I was already hurt, maybe because I thought I didn´t have anything to lose.
But I had a lot to bet and I lost everything. I lost peace, I lost love and I lost will power.
Nobody to blame but myself.
And complaining I look like a clown, so I swallow and feel the poison running through my veins.
It looked like a triangle but now it´s an arrow, a sharp arrow that I was unable to stop.
Now I can not get rid of it.